The Mistakes You Keep Making (Harsh Truths)
Most men never succeed in life.
It’s not because they lack opportunities or are unlucky, but because they refuse to do what’s necessary.
If you don't fix the things I’ll share in this letter, you'll continue watching from the sidelines as others progress and achieve more than you do.
You'll live a life full of regret—regretting not only the decisions you made but, even more, the decisions you did not make—and you'll be stuck in a life of mediocrity.
1) Most People Are Too Comfortable
Most people are too lazy and too comfortable to do anything significant. We have become a society that wants everything delivered to our doorstep.
We can amazon prime a new phone, groceries, a camera—anything we want arrives almost instantly. During the global pandemic, with streaming platforms and home delivery, we rarely had to leave our houses.
Think about this: People get too comfortable. When you're too comfortable, you never experience discomfort—and without discomfort, there is no growth.
If you're not working out, your muscles lack resistance. And without tension, there’s no growth. That's why so many men remain stuck in their current state.
Success doesn’t come to those who choose comfort over challenge.
The way to build discipline and realize your potential is to get out of your comfort zone. Whether it's creating YouTube content, learning a new skill for a better job, or simply doing something that challenges you, you must put yourself in uncomfortable situations—even if it's temporary.
That discomfort is what leads to growth. Like you, I still struggle with comfort in many areas of my own life.
I’m in the trenches with you, trying to better myself, but these are the lessons I've learned from personal experience.
When you're too comfortable, nothing changes. You have to experience discomfort.
I'm not saying you need to jump into an ice-filled lake or purposely inflict physical pain. I'm talking about the mental discomfort of learning something new—challenging yourself to acquire a new skill.
That's the discomfort that builds discipline.
2) You Lack Real Discipline
Most people fail in life because they don't want to break out of their comfort and lack discipline.
It's easy to stay at home, play video games, watch Netflix, order pizza, and never step outside.
Many live that comfortable life until they get upset when they see on social media people living the life they want—people with healthy bodies, better jobs, nice cars, and stylish clothes.
You can't complain when you chose comfort, while others choose to embrace discomfort. Motivation might help you get started, but discipline keeps you going.
I often use analogies—like comparing a sprinter to a long-distance runner, or a Tesla Model X to a BMW M3.
A Tesla may burst out quickly—0 to 60 in three seconds—but that burst of motivation (speed and energy) dies out. Discipline keeps you going when you feel like giving up.
A long-distance runner maintains a consistent pace (discipline). They don’t try to become a sprinter (lose their discipline, form, or pacing). It's that consistent, repeated action that makes the difference over time.
In another example, we’ve all seen someone hit the gym for a few weeks, look in the mirror, and then give up because they don't see immediate progress.
I've seen it too often—people stop showing up when they don't get instant results. Yet those who endure discomfort, who push through the initial frustration, are the ones who eventually transform.
3) Blame Others Instead of Taking Ownership
A lot of people blame everyone else for their failures—parents, circumstances, the economy, even social media.
But if you're in your 20s or 30s, you must stop blaming and take control. If you say, "everything is so expensive, I can't go to the gym," that's just an excuse.
If you can't afford a gym, do bodyweight workouts at home or use a park. If you're in a toxic job or relationship, change it.
If you're in debt because you spent money you didn't have, that's on you. No one is going to have pity on you.
We live in an attention-driven, dopamine-fueled society. Social media gives you a hit of dopamine when you announce your hopes and dreams.
I once saw a tweet from Dan Koe urging people not to tell others what they're going to do, because it releases dopamine instead of fueling action.
You might post that you're going to build 10 pounds of muscle or launch a YouTube channel and get likes and comments, but then you never follow through.
The difference between talkers and doers is clear: talkers blame circumstances, while doers take responsibility and act.
I hold myself accountable every day—if I miss the gym or fail to upload a video, I look in the mirror and own it.
Discipline is built on taking responsibility and doing the hard work, even when it's uncomfortable.
4) Chase Short-Term Pleasure Over Long-Term Success
We all want things immediately—Amazon Prime, same-day delivery, instant food. But success requires delaying gratification.
Whether it's your fitness, your business, or your personal growth, you must keep working even if you don't see immediate results.
Your body feels the effects of working out even if the visible changes take time. That’s how you build discipline.
Don’t get fooled into chasing short-term success. Life is about playing the long game.
You might think you want viral success, but like all viral trends. They eventually die off and become last month’s hype.
What you want is consistency. What you need is sustainability.
Action Items for The Next 30 Days
I'm going to give you a few action items to transform your life over the next 30 days and build a disciplined mindset:
Commit to Deep Work:
Set aside 3–4 hours of focused work every day. If that's too much, start with 1–2 hours.
Use this time to build a skill, grow your business, or work on personal development.
Set Non-Negotiable Daily Habits:
choose essential habits—waking up early, reading for 15 minutes, working out for 40–60 minutes (or at least 3 days a week).
Commit to these habits no matter what.
Audit Your Time:
Identify the top three time-wasting activities (social media, video games, netflix, etc.) and cut down on them.
Use the reclaimed time to focus on deep work.
Find a Mentor or Mastermind:
Join a high-value network or my low-cost private community on discord (check the links in the description) for hands-on support and connection with like-minded people.
Turn Every Failure into Motivation:
When you fail or miss a goal, use it as fuel to push harder.
If you miss the gym for a few days, figure out what's holding you back, adjust your schedule, and get back on track.
Apply these action items consistently for the next 30 days.
I encourage you to share your progress via email or comments.
I’m applying these strategies in my own life—I’m not just talking the talk; I’m walking the walk.
By the end of 90 days, I expect we'll all see real progress.
Thanks for reading.
Jovon